Monday, May 2, 2011
Before I came across this video today I was in my kitchen staining my counter tops. I was thinking to myself how thankful I am for a year of messiness. Of really letting out all these dark and festering parts of my self. All the parts I've deemed unlovable. And how good it feels to be right sized and genuine in who I am. Before all of this growing I lived so afraid. And I was tired of trying to be who I thought everyone wanted me to be. And I was scared if people really knew me they would definitely leave. It really has been a crazy year and some people have left and that's felt really sad. But lots of people have stayed and I'm getting to feel so free and lovable in those relationships. And I'm clear that there will always be people who don't like me or agree with me but I'm also clear that the relationships I do have get to be ones where i know i am loved just the way I am. Which is such a beautiful gift.
After a weekend of feeling uncomfortable in my skin, and irritated at my new bangs, and sad about the loss of some relationships. Thank you spirit for this reminder.
So today is about being thankful. For the messiness and the imperfections. And believing those imperfections are really what make you so perfect.